Hey son! You came out of my wife’s womb exactly one year ago! I can’t believe it’s been only a year as you have been such a big part of my life lately. It’s going to take a bit of time till you understand what I wrote here, and I hope you will be able to change your own diaper by then.
I’ve searched for the meaning of fatherhood long before I met you. I asked many fathers, including my own, to find out why I should become a father.
- What is the meaning of having a child?
- What are the tangible and intangible benefits (and costs) of having a child?
- Did you ever regret being a father?
- What do you enjoy most about being a father?
I don’t regret my time inquiring, but I find myself a bit foolish for asking such questions after living with you for a year. I had forgotten that ‘fatherhood’ and ‘sonship’ (is that even a word? And it is! ) are defined by relationships, not by what utility they have. Defining the utility of a relationship might be a valid philosophical topic, but it is a very odd thing to do in real life.
“Hi friend, I estimate our relationship is equivalent to 50 USD based on the amount of dopamine your smile induces!”
I believe that there is an intrinsic value of us being together as a father and a son and that we are meant to thrive together in this relationship. Just let you know, I am your one and only biological father, so you don’t have too many options :)
It is abundantly clear that our relationship must transcend any measures of utility. Maybe, that is the whole point of our relationship. We are being taught how to love without needing to find out why we should. Maybe, this is the single greatest lesson I need to impart to you as a father.
It would be a lie if I don’t have any aspirations for you. I want you to be virtuous. I want you to be healthy. I want you to be respected. I want you to excel in everything you do. I want you to live an exemplary life. However, if you are like me, you will have plenty of mistakes and failures in life. That is okay. I hope you know that you are deeply loved by the almighty God, your mom, and me.
Oh…I forgot to mention that the greatest perk of being a dad is that I can crack as many dad jokes as I want.
Haju, you are my ‘son’shine :)